If you are in contact with those around you in any family or neighborly way, you probably know someone who is a caregiver. They could be helping take care of an older adult or a child with special needs. The reasons someone is a caregiver are endless. Some common ones are illnesses related to health concerns, medical fragility, or maybe those who are at risk of abuse and neglect.
For several years my husband and I have been “respite” givers to other foster parents. Respite is a gift of time to provide temporary relief to families and caregivers from the demands of providing daily care in their homes. It helps them “take a break” and get some needed fresh air, so to speak. It can be a few hours or up to several days, depending on the situation.
This same gift can be given to anyone around you that does the same type of job, but for one of their own family members. The benefits to the caregiver when you give of your own time and self are many. It will help improve overall family well-being and stability, including their physical and emotional health. Marriages and sibling relationships benefit from someone coming in and “taking over” for a short period of time. It allows them freedom to have some personal time for themselves.
Respite is so important because it is cost effective, provides a valuable resource for the caregiving family, and can help postpone out-of-home placement. In some cases it has been proven to help decrease abuse and neglect.
I’d like to encourage you to think about offering some temporary relief to someone you know who could use a little break from their caregiving responsibilities. Start small. Offer a short amount of time to help. Plan with the caregiver so you know the routine, and take on only what you feel comfortable doing. Be dependable and do respect the family’s privacy.
There are various settings that respite can be provided. A family home is probably the most common, but sometimes it can be offered in a community setting. Since I have retired from my full time job of teaching school, I have been a Hospice volunteer. That has included helping at the Hospice House in Slayton, but I have also done respite for families in their homes. I have met some wonderful people, and have been blessed to give the gift of time to those who really needed it.
It is important when you are involved in respite to put the person you are caring for “first”. Put your electronic devices away and talk with them. Find out what they are interested in, what is going on in their lives, choices that they can make. Have patience. Do not hesitate to offer assistance, but do not automatically give help unless the person clearly needs it or asks for it. Ask short questions that require brief answers or a yes/no response. Say what you mean without sarcasm or irony, and focus on conveying respect, sensitivity, and dignity.
When you are conversing and listening to the person you are providing respite for, be in the moment. Be alert, look around, and watch for physical and emotional clues that can help you better understand what is happening or needed. Look into their eyes, without staring. Don’t assume you know what they are trying to say. It is good to remember that all people want to express themselves, want to be heard, and want us to recognize their interests, needs, likes, dislikes, etc. All of this makes us an active listener which leads to good communication. ( I guess this is good for us to do ALL the time…not only in respite!!)
I truly believe that the gift of time is the one gift that everyone wants from us. Whether it comes in the form of a phone call, letter, or better yet, a visit, every time we give of our own time to someone else, it blesses them. Respite is just an extension of that same idea. Giving of yourself and your precious time so someone else can have a little “time off” from their regular schedule to enjoy “getting away or out”. Give it a thought…or better yet, a try. The blessings you give will return to you, I promise!
lbeerman68@gmail.com
