We said our final good-byes to my dad this week. It has been an emotional few days, but I am so thankful that so many of our family were able to come in the last couple months to see dad and show him love and give of their time. His last few days were spent at “Our House”, Hospice of Murray County. His room was peaceful and quiet, and many of us came and went as we talked to him, rubbed his back, held his hand, and just tried to comfort him in any way we knew how. Mom many times sat quietly at his side or ours, as she prepared to say her good-bye to the man she loved and did life with for seventy-one years.
My memories of dad go way back to my early childhood, of course. He was a butcher and grocery store owner in the little village of Bigelow. Many people came from miles around to buy meat, and I had the privilege of going with him many times to do the butchering. We would go out to area farms in the old red and yellow panel truck, with the 7-UP decal on the side. After killing the hog or cow, we would make the trek back to the store and the processing of the meat would begin. The smells and sights in my head are as real as sixty years ago when they happened.
As I grew older, I learned many people skills in that little Bigelow General Store. My chores in our family business began at about age eight. First it was dusting shelves or sorting out bad fruit or vegetables. Then checking out customers, slicing cold meat, or helping to make hamburger or wrapping chickens or meat bundles. My dad told me that the customer was always right, and they came first. When I checked out groceries or made a home delivery, my manners and best behavior were important. Our store was closed on Sunday, but if someone called and needed bread or milk, one of us would go the couple blocks needed to open the door to their need.
My dad loved kids, and he allowed my brothers and sister and me to have our friends over anytime. If we were playing on a hot summer day, we could usually count on a cold popsicle from “the store” to cool us off after a bike ride around town. I observed him many times laughing and talking with little people as they accompanied their parents to do shopping. Their antics or loud behavior rarely upset him. He was quick to laugh and joke with most anyone he came in contact with. He was a real “people” person, enjoying talking and taking time for others around him. He worked hard to support our family of six children, but it seemed we always had time for fun too. On hot summer evenings he would take us to the lake in Worthington or Round Lake for a swim. I remember him diving under between our legs and throwing us up in the air so we could fall down in laughter back into the water. He enjoyed fishing too, but I think my brothers did more of that. I would rather read a book by the lake than bait a hook! In the winter I remember sledding and going down that tall toboggan slide on Lake Okabena. I’m sure he was tired after a long day of work, but it seemed like he always made sure we enjoyed fun times.
As a teenage girl, there were times I did not always agree with my dad. It seemed that even when I could prove him wrong, he believed he was right. That was frustrating sometimes, but I know he was just trying to raise me the best he knew how. And after being a parent and grandparent myself, I realize the enormous job that he had. If we got into any trouble, after he made sure we were telling the truth, he would support us in any situation. One time he went with me to school at 6:30 in the morning just to settle a problem. He was willing to “be there” for us, no matter the consequence.
I remember my driving lessons with him. He was pretty patient, and I remember one Sunday afternoon as our family went for a drive. He told me to get behind the wheel, and as we pulled into the driveway of a country home of friends, he said I should just park behind their car. As I prepared to stop the car, I accidentally stepped on the accelerator, and their car shot straight into their garage. All of a sudden gas was pouring out of their car as we sat and looked over the situation. He jokingly said we could quietly turn around and go home, but of course we didn’t. We stayed for a visit, and when my dad and his friend surveyed the damage, they were understanding and I only had to endure some good-hearted teasing.
Education was very important to our dad. He had wanted to attend college himself, but never had the chance. After I graduated from high school, I was still working for him in the grocery store. When I asked him if I could have a raise in pay, he said that was all he could afford to pay me, but I was free to get another job if I wished. I did. I began in the boning department of Campbell Soup in Worthington. I stayed with my grandparents in Worthington during the week while I worked, and that first night he called me. “What did you learn today?”, he asked. I told him I learned that I was going to finish college if it was the last thing I ever did! I ended up working there for three summers while attending college, and also helping him out when I could. Definitely a learning experience!
As Dan and I entered married life and began raising a family, my dad was a loving and hands-on grandpa. He was always interested in what our children were doing, and as the years progressed continued that love and concern for his great-grandchildren too. The kids brought smiles to his face, and he in return gave them hugs and laughter. “Grandpa Pete” reached out to our foster kids too. This week I have had emails and calls from some of them feeling the loss of his life.
These last five or six years Dan and I have had the opportunity to have him and my mom live in our home. After they could no longer travel in the winter, they lived with us. And this last year and a half, when he needed more help than we could give, he resided at Maple Lawn. It was a good place, and he received care and love from so many employees and residents there. Thank you!
We will miss him. We already do. His jokes…his smile…his concern and interest in our daily lives. But he taught us from early on to know about Jesus, and always made sure we were in church and learned about eternal life. We will see you again, dad. And we know you are no longer gasping to take your next breath. That is a good thing, so do rest in the arms of Jesus, peacefully.
lbeerman68@gmail.com
